Revelations and Thanksgivings

So, I have learned something – or rather, our Father has taught me something. 

Okay, you all know that last year was rough for us, what with the false pregnancy and all.  Calling it difficult doesn’t begin to cover it.  Finding out that I have PCOS and can do something about that helped, but still, there was this little niggling voice that would pop up whenever I saw a pregnant woman or newborn baby, saying “That should be me.  I should have that.”

I figured this was normal, and to some extent, it was.  What I didn’t realize at the time and I do now, is I wasn’t just being sad.  I was questioning Him.  Even though I wasn’t consciously directing anything toward Him, and outwardly I was all gung-ho about the strict diet I’ve had to be on and the lifestyle changes we’ve made to help me to heal, I was a little upset with Him.

And then, walking to the bus the other week, I was praying and feeling blue.  Just about everybody I knew had either just found out they were pregnant or just had a baby in the past couple of weeks, and while I was happy for them, I was sad for me.

Anyway, so I’m walking along, and it hits me.

Alex.

Alex is this great student in one of my classes.  Over October Holiday, we invited any of our students who weren’t traveling to come over for a movie night, and ended up with about 30 students in our home.  Alex saw Justin’s Book and said that he likes to read it in his spare time.  A few days of texting back and forth, and Alex has begun Studying with us.  His knowledge is amazing.  He has some distant relations who he visited this summer, and they are believers of some sort, and he just bought a Book and started reading.  He has more knowledge than many of our Brothers and Sisters.  It’s amazing, and we expect him to ask to Swim before the year is out.

So.  Alex.  Here’s the thing.  If I had been pregnant last year, there’s a good chance we would have decided for me to take a year off teaching.  If that had happened, the school would probably have hired another teacher to take the freshman classes, and there’s no telling if we ever would have gotten to know Alex.  He’s a shy kid. 

SO.  I started thinking about it, and if my not getting to have another baby right now equals another Family member, I’ll take that.  I mean seriously, what was I thinking?  Do I really think that I know better than Him?  I can’t see all the consequences of my actions and decisions, but He can and He knows what’s better for me.  I know this sounds like a “duh, obviously” and I would have said so too before this hit me, but actually living it out makes a huge difference. 

AND here’s the other thing.  PCOS has a lot to do with your diet.  I have always eaten a standard American diet with breads and pastas and the occasional dessert (my mouth is watering just thinking about it), but I’ve never been really bad about diet.  I’m not a junk food junkie, so I just assumed I eat healthy enough.

But now I have PCOS.  As it turns out, some people are genetically predisposed to have this.  And PCOS left alone and not treated leads to diabetes.  So, if I hadn’t had a false pregnancy and found out that I have PCOS, I could very easily have ended up with diabetes at a very young age.  So this bad health thing could very well be the best thing to happen to me.

Yeah.  And I thought I knew what was best.

So, for the first time since last June, I have felt real peace.  I’m satisfied waiting for His will.  And since I’m a bit of a control freak, this is big news.

Okay, so here’s the kicker:  three more of my students have randomly brought up the Father in class.  They all want to Study.  Again, these are my students, people that we wouldn’t have contact with if they weren’t in a class I’m teaching.

I take no credit for this.  I’m not doing anything.  All the glory goes to Him, and isn’t He truly glorious!!!! 

Wow.  This is a really deep post.  Lightening it up, here are some pictures of Connor’s Halloween.  He stayed in “businessman” costume for about 15 minutes.  Not a big fan of the tie, and the arm holes were so long, he kept losing his arms inside his shirt.  It was priceless.

We trick-or-treated at Auntie Rachel and Uncle Ryan’s house.

He got one of Auntie Rachel’s oh-so-beautiful sugar cookies. 

And then he stripped off the business attire and found Easter baskets.  He seems to get his holidays easily confused.  I suppose we could say that he’s in his second costume – Captain Underpants.

And there’s our jack-o-lantern in our windowsill. 

And here are some of my students who came over for a Halloween game night.  We were going to have a big party with the Family too, but one of the Sisters got chicken pox, so we had to keep Connor clear.  Don’t want him getting that just yet.  Left to right, that’s Henna, Lewis, Monica (who will start Studying this week) and Lucky, who has become my Chinese teacher.  We swap languages, and it works out really well.  These four are the hardest working of my freshman English majors, and this evening was their reward.  They were super excited, especially about the sugar cookies Connor and I had made for them.

These girls are three of our Sisters.  That’s Dai Shin, Miao Miao, and Ju Di.  This is at the end of one of our girls study nights.  I had made some peanut butter/chocolate bars, and they loved them so much, they grabbed spoons from my kitchen to scrape the bottom of the pan.

Okay, here are the last pictures, for the grandparents, of course.

Connor helped me make pumpkin bread for our regular Friday game night crew.  He then ate half of it. 

Okay, that’s it for this week.  As always, we are thankful and humbled to be here Working for Him.  We love and miss you all!